Now let's change the phrase "heart disease" for "mental illness." Do your thoughts and feelings change? Most of us would like to think not, but the truth is, many people react to this second diagnosis very differently. Why? There are no more outward symptoms to anxiety and depression than there are to heart disease. There can be fatigue, heart palpitations, just as with heart disease. And yet, there is such a stigma surrounding mental illness in our society today. There are very few, if any, accommodations made for lifestyle changes as a result of extreme anxiety, agorophobia, or schizophrenia. When someone is released from an inpatient stay following a suicide attempt or voluntary admission, they are frequently too embarrassed to say anything, so there are no visits with flowers, cards, or even phone calls asking how they're doing today.
The situation is getting better, yet there is still an incredibly long way to go. Information is more readily available, and people are becoming more willing to share their experiences. Richard and I are two of those people. I am happy to talk with my friends about my experience with post-partum depression, clinical depression, and general anxiety disorder. In spite of my willingness to talk about it, however, I still go through phases of being ashamed of taking medication every day to be able to fully function. Richard compares it to a diabetic needing insulin, which we would never shame them for, and then I do better for a time. But it's a cycle that will likely continue for a very long time.
I have been very blessed/lucky/fortunate to be surrounded by loving and supportive family, in-laws, and friends that have helped me to accept and work through my diagnoses. Not everyone is that fortunate. There are some people I know whose parents believe that if you suffer from depression, you don't have enough faith. Or people who see prescription medication as a poison, and think you should be able to go for a mountain hike and be all better. Faith, whether individual or through organized religion, can be a great help for many who suffer from mental illness. Exercise, whether indoor or out, can boost the effectiveness of medical treatments and therapies. But these things, by themselves, are highly unlikely to help someone who is severely mentally ill.
I recently read a post in a Facebook group from a person whose spouse had recently been hospitalized following a suicide attempt or threat. One of the commenters referred to the spouse as a "punk" and a "turd," for not getting OP's son to the bus stop on time because s/he couldn't get out of bed. The commenter stated that medication is not always the answer, and blocks your senses, including spiritually. S/he then heavily touted faith, prayer, and wholesome nutrition as treatments. The truly ironic part, to me, is that the commenter later said that they struggle daily, as does their spouse. Logically, that says to me that your treatment plan is not working. My gut reaction after reading this comment, was anger and frustration that someone would say those things at all, but especially to a group member who is in the OP's situation.
I shared my feelings with Richard, and this was his response:
"you know what deadens you to the spirit? thinking that you are a worthless piece of crap and that everyone around you would be better off if you were gone or had never existed in the first place. That somehow a God, that is supposed to be perfect, made a mistake with you. That the atonement, no matter how far reaching, doesn't matter to you because even if it did apply to you, which it probably doesn't, you will refuse because you can never be worthy or deserving or comfortable with being in the presence of that God."
This, people, is why my husband and I take prescription antidepressants/anti-anxiety medications. Because the alternative, no matter how much sunshine, prayer, and organic quinoa and kale* ... the alternative is far uglier.
In going back and rereading the OP and the following comments, I realize I judged the commenter somewhat harshly. But I am still frustrated that his/her overall tone was very condescending and anti-medication. Our society needs to stop looking at mental illness as a plague, and start looking at it as a treatable illness. If people suffering from depression and anxiety didn't feel so ashamed, I suspect more of them would seek treatment. If treatments were more readily available, we would possibly see a decline in many social ills. (I don't pretend or claim to be a sociologist or expert, so I'm not going to assume to know exactly what the solution is or what the numbers are/would be.)
Please, help me in reaching out and ending the stigma surrounding mental illness. I only really know about depression and anxiety, but I am very willing to talk about mine and my family's experiences.
For my LDS friends, Pres. Uchtdorf's talk "A Summer with Great-Aunt Rose" and Elder Holland's talk "Like a Broken Vessel" are wonderful and inspiring to read or listen to. These are two that I go back to frequently.
If you or anyone you know are struggling, please reach out to those around you. You are loved, you are needed, and you never know who is looking out for you each day. If you reach the point you don't think you can carry on, please call 911 and get help. There is no shame. The University of Utah offers a Crisis Outreach Program, you can find the details here. You can also call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
*For the record, I like both quinoa and kale. I apologize if my tongue-in-cheek comment offended my crunchier friends. You know I love you!
